Lucky Charms

As a kid, there was absolutely nothing better than convincing my mom to buy some Lucky Charms brand frosted toasted oat cereal & marshmallows.

As an adult with grade school children, I didn’t buy much sugar cereal myself.

Every once in a while, I would buy some knock-off Lucky Charms-like cereal made by Malt-o-meal, called “Marshmallow Maties”. Maties do not have the familiar pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars and green clovers.

I mean, Maties taste exactly like Lucky Charms, but they have the ugliest, most surreal representations of marshmallow objects.

hideous deformed unicorn marshmallows

Above are hideous, deformed unicorn marshmallow chunks from a bag of Marshmallow Maties. They represent “unicorns”, which I guess I can see if I squint tightly. The “unicorn” is white, with a pink, gray and blue horn and mane. In the picture above, both unicorns face left. At first, I thought they were representations of pork chops.